A sad story about a cat

We had a mouse in our kitchen so we went to the SPCA to get a cat. Weak excuse I know.

So we got this cat home and it was a lovely big black cat we were going to call Malawi. Then I went to the blossom parade and when I got home G had fallen asleep and the cat had got out of the house somehow - don't ask. I was so pissed off with G.

Later that evening we heard a faint and pitiful miaow. I crouched down and the cat came out of under the house and right up to me. I was so reliefed and so desperate not to be mad at G anymore I picked him up. And G was so reliefed and happy not to be in the dogbox anymore that he threw his hands to his chest and pretend fainted onto the grass and that gave me a shock and I jumped and the cat got nervous and I was so desperate not to let go that I squeezed it and it went psycho all over my face and scratched and bit me all over my eye and all over my hand and I had to let go....

Then my hand and eye were spewing blood and I was buzzing and bawling. Then my hand got infected and swelled up and I went to the doctor and he put me on a course of antibiotics.

We renamed the cat Cassius Clay aka Mohammed Ali which is a long but fitting name for it.

And now the cat has been seen about five times (this was nearly two weeks ago). We've gone through sorrow, guilt, etc, we're up to anger now. We think it'd be a Junction 23 to keep the cat now (explained below)

We've borrowed a cat trap from a friend (who also has a 22 he's willing to lend us).

We've hidden the trap in the undergrowth and filled it with stinky fish (actually it's tuna with Tomato and Basil (we are aucklanders))

We've renamed the cat Satan aka the Devil aka Beealzibub

And now we wait.


Junction 23 = is when you know something is a bad idea because you have had some kind of a warning but you go ahead and do it anyway and it does turn out to be a big disaster. Named on a long drive to Cornwall when we heard on the radio that there was a big jam at Junction 23 but the road ahead looked clear (we were at about junction 19) so we kept going and low and behold we got stuck in a big jam for over an hour at Junction 23.